I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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