I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
