i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
