The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i need some magic done to my vagina
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
