Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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