I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
