Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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