the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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