im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
