WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
