So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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