i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
