My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
