oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize