Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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