I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
