Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize