Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
