Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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