Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize