the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
