sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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