I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
