i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
