So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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