Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
