i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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