high people should be assigned attendants
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
