your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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