Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
