I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
