no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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