quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
