No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
