either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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