There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hippo gnu deer
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
