I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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