they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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