I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize