Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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