The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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