Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
