i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
