I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
