yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
