so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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