I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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