see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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