You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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