did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
