She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
