who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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