Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
