P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
