let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
