do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
