My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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