So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize