I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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