my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize