It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
