That's intense
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
